On The 9th Day of Christmas Rough Fang Gave To Me…

The origins of Christmas in Poptropica!

We all know how Christmas came about here on Earth, but have you ever wondered how it came about in Poptropica? No? I’M TELLING YOU ANY WAY! With the help of my Poptropican, Rough Fang! 

Rough Fang: THANK YOU HUMAN ME! So, long ago in Poptropica, and I mean really REALLY long ago, the dinosaurs reigned supreme. Once they were but simple animals, but aliens experimented on them…or something and they gained sapience. Then they smacked the space ship into the ocean. What jerks.

They were cruel and oppressive tyrants, lording over the Poptropicans and treating them like slaves. But one day, a brave Poptropican by the name of Green Leopard stood up to the dinosaurs. He escaped slavery and went underground, quietly building up an underground resistance to overthrow their evil dictators. And though his whereabouts were unknown, rumours soon spread of a dangerous rebel by the name of PUNK-LORD BALTHAZAR DARKFANG.

At least that’s what he called himself. The dinosaurs preferred “Dum-Dum McNoFingers”.

Any way, after 3 years, Green Leopard had amassed a massive following and attempted to strike a peace treaty with the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs refused because what did you expect, they’re dinosaurs. This led to a massive three-way war between the Poptropicans the dinosaurs and a giant space rock.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention. A giant space rock came down and killed all the dinosaurs.

But while the dinosaurs were extinct, this wasn’t the end of the Poptropican’s problems. The space rock’s impact affected weather patterns all around the world. Tornadoes, earthquakes, I think at one point a giant fist burst out of the ground and started punching things YOU NAME IT!

In hopes of saving his people, Green Leopard consulted the ancient scrolls left behind by the dinosaurs. Legends told of a mystical cosmic being by the name of Chris who lived in a snail shell on the highest peak of the highest mountain.

And so Green Leopard set off on his journey. With the help of his spunky female sidekick/love interest he invented the blimp using the skins of the dead dinosaurs and flew off, hopping from island to island until he could find the right mountain. He was joined on his journey by a magical floating ear and two sphinxes. But then one sphinx sacrificed himself trying to protect Green Leopard and the other sphinx blamed Green Leopard and left the group, swearing that she will avenge her brother’s death.

Until at last he came across the fabled mountain. Mount Everest! He tried to fly to the top but the winds were too strong. So he was forced to climb it.

Along the way, he was forced to battle ferocious beasts, solve impossible puzzles, help  a yeti reconcile with his family and discover the meaning of life, and escape a monster-truck driving Viking cult led by a vicious tyrant, all the while experiencing unexplained hallucinations of people he-no wait, that last one was from Mad Max: Fury Road. Great movie by the way, best in the franchise. Not for kids.

But anyway, he made top only to discover that there is no snail shell and the magical floating ear who had been following him the entire time was actually Chris in disguise giving him a secret test of character. This infuriated Green Leopard who just straight-up ate the ear and absorbed the magic cosmic power within it.

Green Leopard then declared that HE was the new Chris. Using his cosmic powers he created a massive snowstorm causing Poptropica itself to literally chill out. The cold was so intense, that the sky turned red and green! (Shut up that totally makes sense)

And so Chris married his unnamed love interest and led the Poptropicans in a new era of peace, and the Poptropicans honoured him by celebrating the day he became Chris and saved them. This day was known as Christmas, a day to celebrate the bitter cold of snow and the colours green and red.

And so, all was right with Poptropica…

..

JUST KIDDING. The female sphinx returned to avenge her brother! But knowing she could never overcome Chris’ powerful cosmic abilities, she devised a cunning plan.

She sneaked up behind him and bit his head off.

And so Chris was dead! The people mourned the loss of their benevolent king and even the sphinx regretted her decision! For though she hated Chris, he was once her friend. Wracked with guilt, the sphinx fled to Mythology Island and set up a garden, which she watered with her tears.

Then she got over it and just kind of started eating people again. What a jerk.

And so, the people stopped celebrating Christmas, as it only reminded them of the tragic death of Chris. From then on, Christmas was never again celebrated….

TO BE CONTINUED

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