Ah, Valentine’s Day! A day of romance, love and compassion.
I hate it.
It’s not so much the day itself that I hate. It’s just that Valentine’s Day happens to be the day my greatest enemy rises from it’s hiding place.
What’s so bad about Cupid you ask? Well, it’s a hyper-intelligent infant with a bow and arrow AND the desire to shoot people! And guess what else?!? IT CAN FLY!!! I’m fine with peace and love, and all those other warm fuzzy feelings, but I DON’T NEED A SEAGULL-BABY HYBRID DEATH ARCHER TO TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE!!! Why couldn’t they get a better mascot? Like maybe a bushbaby. You know what? That’s it. I’m not gonna let this guy mess with my head anymore. I don’t care what it takes.
I’M HUNTING DOWN CUPID.