Net Neutrality And Why Everyone Who Doesn’t Agree With It Is Terrible

Hello people! Today, I’m going to talk about net neutrality while riding on a zerocycle. (Just so you know, a zerocycle is a unicycle with zero wheels) What is net neutrality you may ask? Well, it’s the idea that all websites, like this blog and Poptropica and other cool sites that you love, should be able to access their users at the same speed. In other words, net neutrality means that we, the humble proletariat, get equally fast Internet connection for whatever site we go to. However, some Internet cable companies, or as I like to call them, the hideous black-hearted bourgeoise want websites to pay money in order for us to have faster connection while using those websites. So naturally when I heard about this, I checked one item off of my bucket list:

-Buy a top hat
-Eat a taco
-Be oppressed by the bourgeoisie and subsequently start a revolution to overthrow them.
-Learn how to spell “bourgeoisie”
-Go bungee jumping into a pool of whipped cream
-Die (Wait a second…)

AND SO, THE TIME HAS COME MY CHILDREN!!! TONIGHT, A MASSIVE INJUSTICE HAS BEEN INFLICTED UPON US! TONIGHT WE FIGHT FOR OUR RIGHTS! NO LONGER WILL THEY SIT AT THEIR DESKS GLOATING! WE WILL SLAUGHTER THESE FOUL CREATURES AND BATHE IN THEIR BLOOD LIKE GODS!!! THEIR HEARTS WILL HANG FROM OUR MOUTHS AS WE TEAR INTO THEM LIKE THEY TRIED TO TEAR INTO OUR CYBER HAVEN!!! TONIGHT, WE WILL FEAST ON THEIR INNARDS!!! THE BOURGEOISIE WILL NOT SURVIVE TO SEE THE SUN RISE!!! LET US DYE THE BARREN LANDS RED WITH THEIR ESSENCE!!! JOIN THE REVOLUTION MY CHILDREN!!! 网络革命万岁!!!

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15 thoughts on “Net Neutrality And Why Everyone Who Doesn’t Agree With It Is Terrible

  1. lol, Eat a taco.
    My Bucket list:
    1. Get glitter
    2. Eat a pancake
    3. Be in the hunger games
    4. Be fabulous
    5. Learn how to spell, “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”

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