Here’s my terrible story! ALL IS DARKNESS!!!
So here’s the deal, the Kingdom of Arturus recently had a huge war with one of its neighboring kingdoms. There were lots of lasers. During the war, the king of Arturus was killed and everyone panicked. AAAAAAAAAHHH!!! But then the king’s distant cousin Jumpy Camel and the king’s brother Perfect Penguin teamed up and led Arturus to victory! YAY!!! They killed off the other kingdom. YAY?
After the war, the people were all like “Perfect Penguin should be king because he was the king’s brother and Jumpy Camel was just the king’s cousin. WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT BACON?!?” Just the first part. Not the bacon part. But then Perfect Penguin died under “mysterious circumstances” *cough* Jumpy Camel totally killed him and everyone knows it *cough* So now Jumpy Camel is going to be king. Some people aren’t happy with that though…
The story begins at Jumpy Camel’s coronation, where the crown had just been bestowed upon Jumpy Camel’s head. The crowd roared as their new king proudly stood before them, a smug smile on his face.
Next to Jumpy Camel stood his most trusted advisor Mad Ant. Mad Ant looked out over the crowd, his face emotionless.
The cries of the peasants echoed off the castle walls. “Long live the king!” “Hail to King Jumpy Camel!” “I haven’t showered in six months!”
Suddenly, from the edge of the crowd came a voice that sounded kind of like a frog dying. “Beware…”
The crowd went silent. Jumpy Camel’s smile faded. “Who said that?” The voice came once more. “Beware…” “Step forward peasant and address your king!”
An old woman stepped forward. Her face was covered in wrinkles and she wore a grey hooded cloak.
“A crone” Jumpy Camel murmured.”Beware the Ides of March” “Sorry, what?” “Beware the Ides of March” “Come again?” “Beware the Ides of March” “Don’t know what that means”
The old lady turned and disappeared back into the silent crowd.
There was a moment of awkward silence until Mad Ant shouted “Afterparty?” The crowd cheered and Mad Ant gestured for Massive Boot, Great Carrot and the rest of the guards to clear out the room.
“Your Majesty, what was that about? It sounded urgent.” Mad Ant whispered once everyone was gone. “I don’t know. But don’t worry. I’m king now. No one would dare to so much as lay a finger on me. That old hag was probably just crazy. Reminds me of my mother.”
With that, Jumpy Camel turned to the guards and shouted. “Alright! Good work clearing out the room! I expect to see all of you patrolling the castle during the afterparty!” No one dared to object.
Jumpy Camel turned and left the room, Mad Ant trailing right behind him.
As soon as he was out of earshot, the guards let out a massive groan. They left the room one by one to their posts until only Massive Boot and Great Carrot were left.
“There better be a good reason you’re holding me back here Great Carrot.” Massive Boot grunted. Great Carrot frowned. “Massive Boot, what’s wrong with you? We’ve always been great friends, but recently you’ve been growing distant. It’s been a week since we last talked and I would at least like to know why you’ve been avoiding me. Did I do something wrong?”
Massive Boot softened. He replied “I’m sorry Great Carrot. It’s not anything you did. I’ve just had a lot on my mind recently.” “Would it perhaps have something to do with Jumpy Camel’s coronation?”
Massive Boot did not reply but Great Carrot could tell from the look in his eye that he was right.
“You’re worried about what would happen to Arturus if Jumpy Camel continues to reign.” “Yes.” Massive Boot replied gravely. “There is nothing I wish for more than the well-being of our kingdom. Arturus is my home, and I love it more than anything else in the world. Please don’t tell my wife I said that.”
“You are truly the noblest man in all of Arturus.” “Thank you. Jumpy Camel is a great friend of mine. He is wise and honorable. It’s just that…you’ve known him longer than most of us. You know how he tends to get…ambitious.”
“Yes.” Great Carrot spat with a hint of resentment in his voice, his hand gripping the laser sword in his belt. “And he is no more capable of ruling this kingdom than a mechanical rat. I remember an incident years ago. He had fallen into a liquid nitrogen lake on Ice Planet and was freezing to death. If it weren’t for me, he would be a camel-flavored popsicle. Why does he get to rule? If you ask me, I should rule!”
Massive Boot stared at him. “Um…just ignore that last part.” “I agree that Jumpy Camel should not be king, but he has already been crowned! What more can we do?”
A sly grin flashed across Great Carrot’s face. “I might know of something. But I’ll have to know for sure that you’re on board with it.” “Tell me. I’d rather die a lowly peasant than watch Arturus crumble.”
Meanwhile, somewhere else in the castle, Jumpy Camel was walking down an empty hallway, Mad Ant not far behind.
“Mad Ant,” Jumpy Camel spoke softly. “Remember to keep an eye on that guard Great Carrot.” Mad Ant tilted his head skeptically. “Why?” “He is intelligent. Too intelligent. And dangerous. As I stood up before the crowd, I could see how he wistfully glanced at the crown. I could see the hungry look in his eyes.”
“He probably just skipped lunch.” Jumpy Camel shook his head.”No. He seems to hold some animosity towards me, and if he does, he could be a deadly foe indeed.”
Mad Ant replied “There is nothing to fear. Great Carrot is a good man, with a reputation for being courageous and noble.”
“As well as being shrewd, cunning and manipulative. Keep an eye on him. That is all I ask.” “Yes your Majesty.” Jumpy Camel stopped short. “And get me a snack.” “Of course.”
If you liked it, so be it.If you hate it, so-eth be-eth it-eth.